A Restless Night on the Ebon Hawk
by RavensDescendant
Summary: It's another night in the depths of the galaxy for the Ebon Hawk and her crew, but two of the vessels passengers can't seem to get any sleep. A shortfic that will develop into a story. RevanXBastila. Set early in KOTOR. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A Restless Night on the Ebon Hawk**

The Ebon Hawk flew through the night sky smoothly as the twinkling light of the stars turned into lines of burning fire in the windows. Hyperspace was no enemy nor stranger to the man lying awake in a bunk aboard the vessel that night. Derek couldn't believe the twists and turns he had met along his present path in life. The young man flicked the light switch with a simple thought and swung his legs over the edge of his cot, rubbing his face in his hands and ridding himself of his recurring nightmare.

_What in the force is happening to me? _Derek's bare feet hit the cold ground as he mentally cursed his sleeplessness. His muscled frame rose from the bed and he ran his scarred fingers through his flowing brown locks before reaching for his robes. The newly trained Jedi Padawan lightly made his way out of the male bunks, careful not to disturb his bunk mates Onasi and Ordo. His feet carried him to the mess hall, where nothing but a café machine and a seat at the table greeted him. Skipping the café for the night, he took a seat and began breathing exercises the elder Jedi Masters on Dantooine had taught him.

_In….Out….In….Out….In… _

"I see I'm not the only one sleep is evading tonight," a sweet voice interrupted Derek's breathing. He erupted in a fit of coughing when he tried to respond, forgetting that he had yet to let out his deep breath. Bastila Shan began to laugh softly as she moved toward the counter.

"Don't hurt yourself now, Derek," she teased, her voice laced with seriousness to mask her flirtatious manner, or so the young man hoped. Bastila began making herself a cup of café as she turned to face Derek. She leaned against the counter top, her hands on the edge of the counter and one foot flat while the other was pointed toe to the ground. "Would you like a cup?"

_She's so…so perfect. _

"No..uh..no thank you, Bastila," Derek's own grey eyes met her crystal blues in a locked gaze that seemed to last forever; too bad it was only for a second. She nodded lightly toward him and turned her back towards him to finish making her cup of café. Silence fell between the two; a silence that put the young man on edge.

"Why are you still awake?" he broke the silence. Bastila returned to her previous position at the counter, but this time holding a cup in one hand. Thankfully, Bastila had not turned quickly enough to see Derek's gaze move upward to her face from a more southern region.

"Terrible dream. The same dream that woke you, I suppose. I have a lot on my mind, as well," Bastila broke off her sentence to take a drink, "ooh, that's much too hot to drink. Blasted machines still can't seem to make café at an adequate temperature." The young woman's brown hair shook gently as she moved her head in disapproval. Setting the cup down on the table, Bastila pulled out a chair and took a seat across from Derek.

"I haven't really had a chance to speak with you since Dantooine. How is your training coming?" Her lips formed words, but Derek was lost. Lost in her beautiful eyes that held so many mysteries; Lost in her bright smile, luscious lips, and attractive accent; Lost in her.

"Derek?"

He shook his head viciously back and forth, snapping himself out of his pathetic state.

_Where am I? Oh, right, the mess. Bastila. Café. Conversation. Right. Shit. Dig yourself out of a hole again, Derek. You have the manners of a sloppy Hutt._

"Sorry, Master Shan. I must've dozed off." Derek quickly apologized as he glanced nervously at his shaking hands and sweaty palms.

"I'm no Master, Derek. Please, just Bastila," she corrected him with a grin. He nodded as she brought her cup to her lips. Bringing it back to the table again, her fingers lightly laced around the handle, she questioned him again. "Your training? It's progressing?"

Derek nodded slightly, glancing back up at the beautiful woman.

"I'm doing what I can aboard the ship. Deflection training with a remote, meditation, strengthening my force control on small scale tasks. I'm not sure it will be enough, however. These changes, this mission, it all seems so surreal still. Like someone through me into a life that wasn't my own."

Derek thought he caught sight of a worried look in Bastila's eyes, but it faded almost as quickly as it came.

"I assure you, Bastila, I will do whatever is necessary to stop Darth Malak from doing whatever he plans on doing." Bastila's expression lightened as she smiled sweetly at Derek. His body shivered and numbed momentarily. _Force, you're pathetic!_

"I believe in you, Derek. I think you have more potential than anyone I've ever met," Bastila Shan's words were spoken as if they were written in a book; almost as if they were statistical fact. He gave her a slightly crooked smile in response and cracked his knuckles.

"What made you want to be a Jedi, Bastila?" Derek blurted out his question without truly thinking it through. He tried to cover up his rude demeanor with an apology. "I'm sorry. That may be slightly intrusive." The young woman shrugged and leaned back in her chair, tapping her cup with her fingernails.

"It's quite alright; nothing intrusive about it. I suppose you should know about me, considering our force bond. Well, to be completely honest, I didn't want to be a Jedi." Derek gave Bastila a strange look. She continued, "My father is a treasure hunter. He, my mother, and I traveled constantly for his occupation. When they learned I was force sensitive, my mother gave me to the Order."

Derek listened intently, catching the hitch in her breathing when she hissed the existence of her mother. Bastila delved into stories of the adventures she remembered with her family, traveling from place to place, meeting strange and exotic people. A warm glow surrounded her as she spoke about her father.

"Happiness suites you, Bastila," Derek stated after they had finished laughing over her story about a Rodian, a Wookie, and a Twi'lek dancer. The young man swore he caught Bastila Shan blushing for a split second. The young woman jerked up from her seat and washed her café cup that had been refilled since the first cup. Once finished, she turned and covered her mouth with the back of her hand, yawning loudly.

"Excuse me," she breathed, mid-yawn. Derek smiled and stood from his seat.

"I can't believe my eyes. Two cups of café and you're still about to fall asleep where you stand," Derek chuckled as Bastila did nothing, but smile in response. _I could stare at that smile forever._ The young man began to gesture toward the door, but instead decided to try something new. Derek focused his mind solely on one existence in the universe, maintained an even breathing pattern, and relaxed.

_"Time for bed." _

Bastila gasped slightly at the voice that she comprehended in her mind, but fell deafly on her ears. She smiled when she realized what had just happened.

"Yes, I believe it is time for bed," the Jedi woman spoke aloud in return. Derek smiled and walked in step behind Bastila. They walked their way out to the main hull and paused when they knew they would part ways here.

"Thank you for the talk, Bastila," Derek said before turning to step toward his bunk. Bastila nodded and smiled at the young man, watching him walk away.

_"Same time tomorrow?" _Derek reached out to her again, standing in front of the blast doors that led to his bunk. He looked to his left, down the hall, at the tan, tall, stunning figure at her own bunk door. She was standing with her palm on the door and her chin tilted slightly downward. Derek thought he could make out the movement of light laughter and a rose tint to her cheeks.

_"Agreed and I'll try to make it to three cups." _

**END**

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Hope you enjoyed it! I wanted to post one more story before heading back to college. As always, please review. If enough people think it's worthy, I'll definitely continue this one.

{RavensDescendant}


	2. Chapter 2

**A Restless Night on the Ebon Hawk**

**Chapter 2: Three Cups**

Derek had been up since he retired to his bunk the night before. Call it adrenaline, call it the bond between himself and Bastila that kept sending tiny bits of her thoughts to him, call it whatever, the young man was restless. He was kneeling in the cargo hold, sweat dripping from his face onto his robes from the hours upon hours of training he had put himself through today. Despite all that, Derek's grey-eyes still held a spark that couldn't be contested by the brightest of stars in the dark, galaxy sky.

He had seen the beautiful Bastila Shan only once today, but once was enough. Especially when he would be speaking with her again tonight. She had been conversing with Carth Onasi in the ships cockpit; no doubt arguing over the course they were to take to their next destination. Derek glanced in her direction for a split second; the exact same split second that she had turned her eyes towards him. A shocked expression crossed her face and her breath caught slightly as she'd connected with his gaze. Her delicate looking, skilled hand found its way to her chest as she gave him a light smile. Derek had only nodded in response, but he caught a sliver of a thought through the force swirling between them.

_"Force, I was caught." _

Caught. Caught as if she had committed the act a number of times before in secret. Maybe there was hope. Maybe she wouldn't completely ignore his feelings. Maybe she wouldn't completely ignore **her** feelings. Maybe she **had** those feelings, too. Maybe…

"Look what we have here, a Padawan in training with such ambition. That's certainly something to be admired," a sweet voice brought Derek out of his thoughts and back into the real world. Bastila stood against the blast doors. _I didn't even hear them open. What are you doing to me, woman?_

"Being admired by one who is admired for her many talents is a great compliment," Derek flashed a smile up at the slender figure as he rose to his feet and holstered the hilt of his lightsaber. Bastila shook her head slightly as her eyes followed his upward.

"Having a gift versus having ambition is no contest, Derek. Ambition surpasses any born talent in all aspects of life," she responded with great depth laced in her words. "I was on my way to look for you in the mess, but I sensed you here instead. How long have you been here?"

The muscled man before her ran his calloused hands, sporting dry skin and cracked knuckles, through his unkempt, damp hair. He shrugged in response at first, but when seeing her questioning eyes responded, "as long as it takes to memorize the attack algorithm in that remote over there." He gestured with a slight movement of his shoulder toward the heap of broken durasteel and wires behind him.

"You, Derek, are certainly something else," Bastila chuckled. _I could live my life with the sole purpose of making you laugh, Bastila._

"I need a shower, wait up for me?" Derek asked the young woman as he moved toward her. She turned and exited the blast doors in front of him.

"I'll get started on those three cups," she responded with a slight smile.

Derek made his way to the wash room and hurried through his shower, only towel drying his hair. The black, mid-length locks curled out away from his face in no definite pattern. He tried smoothing them into submission with his hands, but they were just too unruly. The young man didn't care about his own looks anyway. He only wanted to gaze upon the brown-haired, blue-eyed woman that awaited him across the Ebon Hawk. Throwing his robes on, Derek walked briskly toward the mess where he found the woman that was nothing more than a stranger he had admired from afar just two nights ago. Now, she was a friend. He felt more comfortable around this woman than he had felt since waking up strangely aboard a star ship with no memory whatsoever. Derek felt like he had known Bastila for the duration of his life up until now.

"All cleaned up," he strolled into the room, his body like a conductor to the electricity that flowed around the two people. His skin prickled with goose bumps; he shook off the feeling and reached for a cup of café that had already been prepared.

"Good, I don't think my nose could have taken the stench all night," Bastila joked. It was good to see her outside of her strict mood and stone wall of emotion that constantly surrounded her while she was in the presence of the rest of the crew.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," Derek played along. "Where are we headed, anyway? I saw you giving Onasi a piece of your mind earlier." Bastila took a drink from her cup and rolled her eyes.

"Onasi drives me insane. He thinks we should just look for Malak without collecting the other star maps. I don't even think that's possible. I made him change course to Ahto City."

"Manaan," Derek spoke without even being aware of the word that spurted from his lips. That had been happening quite a bit lately, but he played it off like he knew what was going on. _Damn brain injury. _Bastila nodded toward him.

"Yes, Manaan. Selkath and water. They say it's a beautiful view from the city," she replied simply.

"I'm sure it is beautiful," _but not nearly as beautiful as y—_**BEEP BOO-EP WHEIRRRR**

The sound of gears grinding and ear splitting electrical chatter made its way into the mess hall, followed by a utility droid that Derek had picked up when they crash landed on Taris.

"Tee-three, what are you doing run—ah, rolling around at this hour? Shouldn't you be powered down?" Derek spoke to the droid in a tone that may have seemed rude, but it really wasn't meant to.

After a series of clicks and beeps and static noises replied to Derek, Bastila spoke up about the situation.

"Tee-three, if you really feel like calibrating the drive core, you don't have to ask permission."

After a long, excited-sounding squeal, the droid rolled out of the room and on his merry way to do whatever it was he was about to do.

"Well that was…" Derek began.

"Strange." They finished in unison, followed by laughter. A silence spread through the air momentarily, until Derek finally decided to ask a question he was deliberating on all day.

"Bastila, how are you with what happened on Tatooine? Your mother and… father?" He trailed off at the final word, scared that it would bring her emotional pain to speak about her father's death. It took a moment before the young woman responded, her face contorted into what looked to be an inner conflict of emotion.

"There is no death, there is the force," Bastila recited the final line of the Jedi Code. Her words seemed half-hearted as they escaped her slightly parted lips. "I wish I could have told my father how much I loved him. Just once more." Derek's hand crept away from his cup, across the table, and his fingertips found the back of Bastila's small hands. Electricity automatically charged between them as he stroked the back of her hand with the side of his thumb. Bastila tensed slightly, only to relax a few moments later.

"I'm so sorry, Bas." Derek and Bastila both let a moment pass between them as their eyes danced between each other. Gazes locking and immediately moving off to a different direction, as if they'd committed a crime. In the world of the Jedi, they were committing a crime. Love was an emotion, an attachment, and weakness for the dark side to creep up into their beings and smother them. Derek didn't believe anything that made him feel so alive would ever turn against him. _There's no way._

"What about your mom? Did you straighten things out?" Derek asked softly, slowly pulling his hand away from Bastila's own. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

"My mother and I have our…differences. She isn't well; I love her, no matter our past nor my training. She was my mother first. We'll work things out," Bastila looked toward her cup. "Thank you, by the way. Thank you for keeping me from pushing her away again, like a fool. Some things just get under my skin…"

"Don't mention it, Bastila. I just nudged you in the right direction," Derek stated, followed by a yawn.

"You're tired," the young woman stated obviously. She stood from her seat, clearly uncomfortable by the conversation. "Time for bed, Mr. Ambition." Derek simply nodded reluctantly. He wasn't ready to leave her. Not on that note. However, he was exhausted and his body was turning against him. Derek stood as Bastila placed their cups in the dishwasher. He stood in her path as she turned to walk out of the mess. _Now, or never. _

Derek's arms slid around Bastila's waist: gently, lovingly. She stood still, taken aback by the gesture, but after a moment her arms found their way around Derek's neck. She relaxed into him, breathing deeply, melting away into his strong frame. Her worries fled her mind and he felt the tension between them disappear as if it were never there.

"Bastila, if you ever need anything...don't hesitate," he whispered by her ear softly. "I'm here for you." They released their hold on one another and stalled their walk toward their respective bunks for a few more moments.

"I um… thank you," she responded, confused. Conflicted, yet again. Derek nodded and led her to her bunk room. Tonight, they would part ways in a silence. Empty air that held unspoken thoughts and emotions. However, the things that went unspoken were absent-mindedly felt through the bond between the strong man and the beautiful woman. This bond was no longer just one through the force, but one through emotions: the so-called "path to the dark side".

**END**

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Hope you enjoyed it! I'll probably go back and edit this one. I don't know that I'm completely satisfied with it. As always, please R&R. Thanks for reading!

{RavensDescendant}


	3. Chapter 3

**A Restless Night on the Ebon Hawk**

**Chapter 3: Confusion**

"I don't get it!" A clenched fist met the wall of the shower, shaking the soap bottle off the ledge and onto the soaked floor at the feet of the newly named Jedi Padawan. Derek let the icy water slither through his hair and stream down his face as he thought of the past few weeks.

Everything had been going well with their mission, and exceptionally so when it came to his relationship with Bastila. However, something changed on Manaan right after they had returned from the Kolto Rift.

_Bastila, Ordo and Derek finally surfaced back to dry land after finding the star map and riding the Selkath & Republic of the issues in the Rift. Unfortunately, they had to destroy a harvest mechanism the Republic had built. This set back had greatly angered the Republics that greeted them as they surfaced and they proceeded to take their anger out on Derek and the others. After passively making their way through the base, a Selkath official approached the group outside._

_"It has been reported that a number of detonations took place below sea level and that you three are responsible. I will have to ask you to come with me." The Selkath slurred out in a manner that was hardly understandable (as usual)._

_"You want to know something?! I'm not going anywhere with you slimy- bureaucrats," Derek's eyes glowered at the fishy opposition. Bastila's hand clutched his wrist as he continued ranting. He jerked his arm away from her, sticking his finger in the officer's face. "We've been fought every step that we've taken on this planet. Neutral, my ass. Kick me off this waterhole if you want, I'm out of here. I need some rest."_

_Derek stormed off, followed by escorts to make sure he left the premises and, eventually, the planet. On the way back to the Ebon Hawk, Derek realized the mistakes he had made and waited by the drop entrance to speak to Bastila and apologize._

_"Bas, I…" Bastila's palm rose up to Derek's face, pausing him from continuing to speak. She said nothing and did nothing. The beautiful young woman merely boarded the vessel and retreated to her quarters._

_She hadn't spoken to Derek since…_

Banging on the bathroom door jerked Derek from his dream-like state.

"Hey, you almost done in there? Some of us may want to use the only bathroom on the ship too, you know?!" Carth Onasi's voice came from behind the steel wall. Derek shut the shower off, dressed in his robes and towel dried his hair. A quick glance in the mirror only confirmed that he looked how he felt: completely and utterly drained, confused, and angry. Very, very, angry.

The young man jerked the door outward, almost hitting Carth in the process. Derek didn't react to the encounter. He simply made his way to the storage hull, avoiding the kitchen area at all costs, attempting to rid himself of any negativity. Too bad the negativity seemed to follow him like a plague.

Derek wasn't alone when he entered the storage space. Mission, the Twi'lek from the slums of Taris, was looking through the stock. Mission was an asset to the group as she was an amazing tracker and a mechanical wiz. Throughout their time together, Derek and Mission had become more like family than either of them ever really remembered having.

"Hey, look what the wookie dragged in. Where ya' been?" Mission stood against one of the durasteel containers with her arms crossed over her abdomen.

"Oh you know, around." Derek evaded the question, "Just looking for a place to meditate." The blue twi'lek rolled her eyes.

"You too, huh? That's all that the preaching princess has been doing the past few days. Holed up in our room like a hermit. You Jedi types sure are strange." Mission moved to walk out of the room, stepping past Derek, only to pause for a moment. "What happened to you two?" A smirk played on her lips as she posted up at the entrance. Derek's eyes fell and he tried to just walk past the teenager, but she blocked him with a quick side step.

"I'm not close enough with her to ask this kinda stuff, but I can ask you. C'mon Derek. Tell Mission what's goin' on." Now, she was playing with him. Derek had half a mind to push her through the door and knock her out. But, it was only **half **a mind to.

Inhaling deeply, Derek told Mission about some of the stuff that had been on his mind. He told her about Dantooine and training, Tatooine and Bastila's mother (omitting the part about her father; that was too personal), and finally Manaan and the falling out.

"Well kid, sounds like you've got a bad case of heart ache to me," Mission didn't have a chance to laugh at her own joke. Derek had his arms locked around her neck before she could even form a smile. "Hey, hey, hey, quit it will ya'?!" The young man dug his knuckles into Mission's skull playfully and released her as she over-dramatically gasped for breath. "Jeez, I was only trying to help."

"Oh, yeah right," Derek laughed for the first time in weeks, "Thanks for the talk, Mission. You're all right. For a kid." He smiled an adorable, boyish smirk her way, waiting for the back lash of that final comment.

"I ain't no kid!" Mission stormed out of the room angrily, stomping the ground as she went down the corridor. Derek laughed silently at the young girl and took a seat on the floor. _Relax, breathe. There is no emotion, there is peace…_

The muscular Padawan sat in silence for what seemed like a number of hours, sorting through his thoughts and storing them away in his mind. He imagined himself in a quiet field on Dantooine behind the Jedi Enclave.

While he sat meditating, he decided to get a little practice in. Mentally, Derek reached out across the Ebon Hawk, trying to feel and distinguish every presence around him. Mission and Zalbaar were easy to spot. They were in the kitchen, probably playing a little pazaak before bed. Mission was the only one that could beat Big Z on the entire crew. He wouldn't cheat her. Next, he found Carth in the cockpit. His energy was calm and Derek decided that he was probably asleep in the Captain's chair.

After finding Carth, he turned his attention to the large room at the other end of the vessel that housed the tools and weapons. Canderous was there, moving about viciously. He was probably training, Derek thought. He would have to get him to enlighten him with some more battle stories soon.

_Hmm… Juhani is asleep in the women's bunks… so where is?_

Derek's head turned lightning fast toward the entrance to the storage room, his grey eyes locking with shimmering blues. Bastila's jaw dropped slightly and she quickly strode down the hall away from the gaze. Derek jumped up as quickly as he could and jogged after her; his eyes locked on her brown, bouncing locks that were free of their restraint atop her head for once.

"Hey," he called after her with no response or slowing step, "Bastila!" his steps grew quicker. "Bas, hey, stop, okay?!" Derek reached out and grabbed onto Bastila's arm and pulled her into the closest room he could find. Shutting the door and leaning up against it to make sure she couldn't leave, he searched her face for any sign of emotion. To his dismay, there was nothing to decipher. There is no emotion…

"Did you need something, Padawan?" Bastila's calm voice sent shivers down Derek's spine. _How can she not be affected?_

"Yes, I need to know why you won't speak to me, Bastila." The young man stood like stone, deciding it would be best to not share his feelings or emotions outright either. Her crystal blue eyes stared straight into Derek's chest; it felt like she was burning a hole through him.

"I don't quite know what you're referring to." She responded coldly. Derek's eyes grew wide.

"You have got to be kidding me. Bastila, you haven't said two words to me before now since Manaan. I tried to apologize for how I acted, I was wrong. There's no excuse for behaving that way." Derek willed her to look up into his own eyes, but she stood her ground and the only movement she made was to blink after every few seconds.

"It is expected that you act like that. After all, you're only a Padawan…" The young woman's voice trailed off as if she meant more than what the words were letting on. Derek was growing impatient, he walked toward her, pushing the chair that was between them to the side. It was only then that he realized they were in the kitchen.

"Yes, I'm a Padawan. I was a Padawan three weeks ago, as well. But, three weeks ago we were in this very room talking like we had known each other for our entire lives," Derek's face twitched in anger, but he quickly reacted to calm himself. "I don't understand, Bastila. Explain to me what happened, please."

"Nothing happened." The words spilled from her full lips quickly as if they had been planned for years. Derek's arms dropped to his sides and he moved even closer to the woman with the crystal eyes that was continuing to avoid his gaze.

"Then, why," Derek's fingers lifted Bastila's chin gently, but she tore away to her right, looking at the wall, "won't you look at me, Bas?" Derek was shoved lightly backwards.

"Stop. Don't call me that." Bastila returned her gaze to Derek's chest as he remained where he had been pushed. Biting at his jaw and darting his eyes around rapidly, the dark haired male nodded his head a few quick times.

"Alright, fine." He walked toward the door and opened it, gesturing that she was allowed to leave. Bastila strode lightly to the door. As she stepped through the opening, Derek slipped his hand down her wrist, pulling her to him and whispering in her ear, "You can't tell me that you don't feel anything, Bastila."

Finally, they're eyes met in a furious fire of blue-silver. Bastila Shan dropped her head slightly, removing Derek's calloused hand from her wrist with her other hand. She spoke softly as she turned to leave.

"I **can't **feel anything." Her words were laced with a hidden solemnness as she walked back toward her bunks. _Especially for you…Revan._

Derek shut the door to the kitchen and remained there throughout most of the night, continuing with his meditation. Moments before deciding to return to his bed and get some rest, his mind twitched, like a string was being pulled from somewhere else in the universe. So close, and yet, so far away. Bastila's voice filled his ears and he gasped.

_"I can't, but I do."_

**END**

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Hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, please R&R! I apologize for the delay in posting. I had midterms last week and couldn't find any time to get into a creative mood. Thanks for reading and thank you for the wonderful reviews!

{Revan's Descendant}


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